We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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