hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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