Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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