return my video game
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
