how can u be prego again
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
