Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There r osticjed everywhere
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
