Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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