party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Damn victory sex feels great
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
