Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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