Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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