Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
