so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
