All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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