i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
