I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
