so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
