She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
