Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
