Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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