If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I stole a fireplace last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
