I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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