im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
