she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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