I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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