Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize