She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
