i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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