just tell him i said nine months
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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