I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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