is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
