You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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