i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
