i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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