just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
