I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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