I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
