your thong is hanging out like whoa
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We named our party play list daddy issues
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i think i just lost a toe
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
