I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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