he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
