So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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