am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
