he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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