Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
