i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
