if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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