Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
only you would photoshop your dick
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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