My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
