last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Bring me that man meat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
