well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
