Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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