So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
