do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
