He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
