I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
