just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
