is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
