Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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