i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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