Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
