i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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