so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
